The Battle Wages

I was just reading my email and I am set up to receive them from Pray4Kids...Every time I read their emails, I weep... I hate to admit that sometimes I don't open them, for that reason...It hurts so much to know that there are so many people in pain. Parents, children, fighting for their lives and/or their health. So many hospital procedures and bills, needles and tests and sometimes it's just not enough.

Today, as I prayed for little Josh, who has leukemia, I cried out to God and asked "why"... why doesn't He just intervene? Why do these children have to suffer and sometimes die? Why do parents that want a baby SO badly have to lose them? Why is it that people that neglect their children or hurt them GET to have kids? What about teens that are just being irresponsible? Why do THEY get to have kids and others have to suffer the losses?

I felt God, in the VERY MIDST of my questioning speak to me, saying, "the battle rages...and you are hated by the one who has nothing" He said, "hold on to Me...don't waiver or give up"
The presence of God and His peace does not negate or contradict the tears or the pain...they are still there...for all parents who lose babies or go thru such traumas with their children. The pain and grief is real and it doesn't just go away because time passes or people want us to be "normal"...NORMAL is different, now. NORMAL has forever been altered. It doesn't mean that we don't have moments where we appear to be the FORMER NORMAL, and maybe therein lies the problem...people can't see the tears that lie just under the surface, threatening to burst out at the slightest provocation; they don't see the pain that cuts when our closest friends try to "help" by preaching at us about God's will or having His peace or making us feel guilty for having our pain and not being able to keep it inside so that they feel better. The hardest thing in the world is to hold your dead child in your hands and have to say goodbye. That doesn't just go away because we have a "good" day or moment of joy.

I think I have figured out that when I don't have words directly from God, that the best thing to do is to let the grieving know that I don't have the answers, the words or know what I can do to help, except that I will be there to listen without advice, and that I will pray.

Please forgive my ramblings...just the honest pain coming out...sometimes that just seems to make things worse, I guess...but I want to remember these things when it's my turn to be a support and not just the griever.