Jealousy. It's an ugly thing.

Why do we get jeaous when God has enough of whatever it is we think we need to go around!
Why is it that when someone else gets what we want, we think that we can't have it, too?

What is it going to take for me to trust God? To trust that HE alone knows what I need and WHEN?

Why am I afraid? And of what? Of actually being happy and getting all I could never even think, ask or imagine?

How can I NOT trust the most trust-able One that ever was? Hasn't He proven Himself over and over and over ad infinitum?

It's fear again. That I will screw up the plans that He has. That I will make the wrong choice, say the wrong thing, go to the wrong place, not be able to live up to what it takes to succeed.

I am SO NOT the best parent, wife, homemaker, friend, pastor's wife and I am so sure that I never will be. I dont' have the drive, the whatever... without HIM, I am less than nothing! With Him, I have a fighting chance of raising relatively happy, well-adjusted children, have a wonderful marriage, be a decent pastor's wife when the day comes, and somehow be a good friend. The homemaker part I am not sure even God can help with....just kidding!

Oh, the ramblings of the fallen. And tired, and worn out, and slightly crabby.

Love and Respect

AAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggggggggg!
What are we to do when the most valuable of relationships is hurting because of our own selfish needs?
Why can't we let go of OUR needs to meet the needs of the other person without feeling cheated or like we aren't being valued "enough"?
GOD! Help me to shed these selfish feelings and just love for Love's sake.

On a similar note, why can't we be vulnerable to the One who has our best interests at heart, letting Him take the good, bad and the ugly and turning it into the Grand and Beautiful? What are we so afraid of? Would it be so bad to bring up the yucky stuff long enough to get rid of it?

And if we DO let down our guard long enough to let God do what He does best, how do we get to that place? We let Him take us there and reveal, restructure and renew.

Oh, am I philosophical today, or what?
And yet, Truth is Truth!

Why?

Why do we as women accept the myth that we can never measure up?
Who is setting the standard?

We were never CREATED to have to be the perfect mom, most accomplished athlete, most successful businesswoman AND the smartest, most organized person in our world....

God's standard is SO different...He created us just out of the abundance of His heart, because He wanted us to share in a love relationship with Him...not some kinky, gross, thing....just a beautiful, fulfilling, relationship that completes us....filling that yearning, the empty spot that nothing can else can satisfy.

Instead, we let oursleves get caught up in the scarring things that were said or done to us when we were young, and we believe that we aren't beautiful, that we aren't capable or beautiful unless we are a size 4 with think, flowing hair and perfect skin, and have every duck in a row and perfect children.

THIS IS NOT REALISTIC AND DEFINITELY NOT WHAT WE WERE CREATED FOR....

more on this later, my friends....