I feel the need to give you a pre-post post...
My real post is about Morgen. And I included her picture. Now, honestly, this blog site is for my raw emotion. For me to spill my guts. If you want my regular blog, the one that is safe, that I don't really care WHO sees, (hence the reason I only told a few people about this one) then you can go to www.xanga.com/seek4him ... if my negativity on this site makes you uncomfortable, or you feel the need to make me feel better, or to fix me, then go there... I don't want to be fixed. You can't do it. Only God can.
Along that line, however, I do honestly appreciate encouragement, thoughts, prayers, and comments...just don't feel like you have to give me scripture or remedies for my grief. they don't work. Only staying close to the One who breathes life does that. And I dont' believe that grieving negates anything that God wants to do, nor does it negate my trust in Him.
So, all that to warn you that you may not want to read the post I just wrote... I would love for you to, but I also know it's more for me than for you...
Blessings!!
2 comments:
I am so proud of you. You are strength. You are courage. You are... and should always be who you are. Others don't get it, they just don't get it. I took an on-going free style writing class in L.A. that for me lasted two years. There is power in writing one's inner most thoughts without censorship. It's more than cathartic, it's a unique, creative life-force that many are too lazy and afraid to do. We want so much to be acceptable and pleasing by others, I believe when people feel they must fix someone else it stems from their need and has little to do with the person they are trying to fix. So, go ahead, Sweetheart, and blog those raw emotions. I'm inspried. I will always read them. ~Mitch
forgive me Shan.
I didn't know you had kept posting. I checked this blog religously for awhile and you hadn't had time to update. ... so here I am too late... i hope not.
i am in tears.
i want to thank you for letting me see your beautiful daughter. how badly i wanted to see her but didn't have the guts to ask. she is perfect. beautiful. perfect.
I am floored by how closely our lives are paralleling. that though our grief is so different, it still takes on a life of its own and a life that not many others want to acknowledge or are prepared to hear.
i am so eternally grateful for our friendship. i am overwhelmed at the responsiblity of sharing your feelings... but feel honored to do so.
thank you for all you wrote over the last 3 or 4 postings. know that i don't understand your pain- it is focused differently than my own, and yet i understand you so clearly... the food, the spending, the mistreatment of your husband.. i get it all. i am right there with you.
one day, we can be together and cry together, eat some yummy food... talk, play games... i hope one day honestly that we can do that.
God put us together..
thank you Shan...
Heather
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