At least with Memorex, you get the "same" thing... with me, you never know! Sometimes I think at my core, I am just a liar.
Why is it that I KNOW how to live, can TEACH someone the right way to live, but can't seem to be able to DO it myself???
I have asked God for a hunger for Him and His Word...and I WANT to do it... I just haven't... I let other things get in the way all the time! Things that DO NOT MATTER! It's easier for me to put it off than to accept that fact that I doubt... Doesn't James say that if you pray with doubt, you might as well not pray at all??
What kind of example am I to my kids? What kind of life am I living? I had wanted to start the new year by reading Proverbs to my kids each day...setting them up in wisdom and faith... have I done that yet? NOPE!
On the outside, I am a very genuine. The real deal. No secrets, I will be honest about anything... so why do I have such a hard time living out my private life? Isn't that hypocrisy? I hate that Christians give God such a bad name...and last night, my last thoughts were that I am among the worst... if someone could see into my private life, they might be appalled... I know I am.
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2 comments:
We are always are worst critics. I'm thinking you're being rather hard on yourself. What did Jesus say was the greatest commandment? To love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and strength—and to love our neighbor as ourself.
From my view, you do that so incredibly well. You are a beautiful person and your life reflects in a million different ways the love you have for God.
Keep thinking on what you know is true...it is in there! You are being so brave as you continue to honor Morgen's life as well as honor the new life that is growing in you. You are so precious....
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